I have to listen

Another parenting lesson learnt last night.

The children and I were in the children’s room for our nightly cuddling time when I will cuddle each of them for about 5 minutes, during which we will chit chat, sing and pray.

I was cuddling Ms Z first when Mr E kept yaking and yaking non-stop.  I told him that it was Z’s turn and he should wait for me to cuddle than we chat.  After that, he kept quiet.  But when I was ready to cuddle him, he refused.  Went to his bed, lay beside him wanting to find out why, which I thank God I did.

Initially he refused to talk, and even said he don’t ever want to cuddle again.  On further probing, I realised the problem.

He said that everytime when its his cuddling time and Z comes to disturb, I will always tell him “Nevermind la, let her squeeze with us.”  But when E interrupt, that will not be the case, cause I will tell E to wait and don’t interrupt.

Sigh… My poor boy felt unfairly treated.  its my fault, I’m the one who is unfair.  I really didn’t mean to, but I guess I have been insensitive.  Resolving the issue is not the only lesson learnt.  I realised that I have to listen to my 6yo’s opinion and thoughts.  I find that parenting him now is very different from what it used to be.  He now analyse more, and there are times, he is the one who has a good reason for behaving in certain way.  I have to listen to him.

We resolved that: Nobody will be allowed to interrupt anyone’s cuddling time.  Cuddling is just precious time between me and each of them.  The invisible sign reads “DO NOT DISTURB.”