Gloom to Bloom

The Gloom

I ended 2009 with gloom.  I was so fearful to face 2010, that instead of staying up for the countdown, I slept.

You see, there is an area in my life that is going down down down.  Year after year, I only see it getting worse.  When I’m at the edge of 2010, I asked myself, how much worse will this get?!  I don’t dare to see, but only cry.  I’m scared, I’m scared of falling into the bottomless pit.

Turning Point

3 Jan, Sunday morning, was getting ready for church.  But I was so short fused that I blew up at the kids.  Stayed in the toilet and cried cried cried.  Told God, “I give up.  God, I give up.  I have no more strength.  I can’t do it.  It is so so so difficult.  And I don’t know how to move on.  I can’t do it anymore.” (Sob sob sob, even now, I’m sobbing sobbing sobbing.)

After about 10 mins of this, wiped my tears away, and went out, faced my kids, and apologised to them.

I told them honestly, that I’m having a hard time managing the household and parenting them cause I’m all alone.  We trio prayed.  All of us, even Z.

The Bloom

People reading will probably be think, ah…  the situation got better!  Sorry to disappoint, nope.  At least, not from my eyes.

HOWEVER, all the little things that happened this week, gave me so much strength, that I know, 2010 gonna be a blooming year for me.

When I raised my white flag to God, amazingly HE TOOK OVER!  As I look back at this week, my jaw dropped!  I C.A.N.N.O.T   B.E.L.I.E.V.E   I.T!!!  (My kids love to watch Little Einstein, and there is this character that always say this phrase. )

Basically, every little concern and worry I have in my mind, HE handed it!!!  Even the tiny ones!!!

Favor – Z’s kindergarten

Though I registered Z for school, but due to the really rude and irritating administrator who even hung up the phone on me, and the fact that I didn’t even receive letter to buy uniform and such, I was really reluctant to send Z to school.  BUT, first thing I found out when I went to her school, that administrator left!!! WAH WAH WAH! Hurray!  And I was greeted with super nice people who helped us so so so much! Ok, now I have the peace to put Z in that kindergarten .

Favor – Parent Volunteering

I’m supposed to start my PV job at Z’s potential school.  BUT they assigned me as traffic warden and I can only clock 1 hour a time!  Arrrrrggggghhhh….40 days to the school and 1 hour each day?!?! NO WAY!!!

Called them on Mon morning, told them it’s really tough. And, guess what!  The in-charge who was previously really quite unhelpful suddenly was so cheerful and helpful!  She even said she will try to arrange something else for me!

Job Blessing – New student

My old student can’t continue cause she is only free on Sundays, which I’m not. 

BUT, HE gave me another student!!! And I boldly increase my fee.  Totally had peace and at rest.  My time is not worth to be paid peanuts.  If they take good.  If not, I have more time with kids.

Verdict, they took it up!!!!   And same profile as my niece, my current student, which means, very little extra preparation work for me!!! Yay!!!

School Bus

I can actually send Z to my previous Primary school.  So I called up the bus company just to make sure they have school bus to come to my home.  To my ‘horror’, the lady on the line said NO BUS!!!! :O

I tried ways and means to get her to help, (which was really tough), and finally, she gave me the phone number to the bus driver who fetch pupils around Bedok area.

And… this Bedok bus driver referred me to another bus driver, and lo and behold! There IS a bus that comes to my place!!!  Yay!!!

Thank God for his guidance and for linking me up to the right person.

Time Blessing

This is a very little blessing (if we can measure blessing ), BUT, it amazes me that HE takes care of even little thing.

Friday was really my mad day.  Plus in this particular Friday, it was a new tuition routine for my niece and nephew where they have to come my home instead I go over. (Cause I have to fetch Z from kindergarten.)  Plus with the new student, logistically was challenging.

BUT, new student couldn’t come on Friday!  Ah!!!! That was really good cause it gave me time to bring my sis maid to Z’s school so she can help me pick up Z on every Friday when I’m busy.

Labour to enter into Rest

All these are really very small testimony that can’t be compared to those super power healing, financial breakthrough, etc etc etc.

BUT, it gave me the encouragement that when I let go, HE will do it!  I can’t see many things ahead, but HE SAW.

Ps Joseph Prince said this on 8 Jan, Sun,“When you do nothing, GOD does EVERYTHING.”

I thank God for Ps Prince’s message.  I saw His work when I rested.  And I know I will see MORE of HIS work when I continue to move behind the scene, and just rest and watch.

Blessed 2010

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