Am I a Professional Stay-AHM or Laze-AHM?

7 08 2008

A month or two ago, I read in the Straits Time Life section about a lady (can’t remember her name), and the comments made by her colleagues that said “She is very professional in her job.”

With that, it struck me pretty hard.  I started asking myself “Am I a professional SAHM?”

  • Where is the excitement when I see my children every morning?
  • Where is the joy when they come to talk to me?
  • Where is the enthusiasm when they ask me to play a game with them?
  • Where is the patience when they make a mistake?
  • Why am I hoping that they do not disturb me?
  • Why did I stop singing or chatting with them when we are on a bus journey, but choose to reply or send some sms to friends?
  • Why am I always looking forward to the night time when they be in bed?!

I started to be so so so ashame of myself.  I know that I will certainly have different kind of attitude if I’m out there in the field working.  Sad to say, I will probably have better attitude, better passion, better efforts, better focus, etc etc etc… So why is there such a different when my job title says “Stay At Home Mum”?  I really felt that I have short-changed my children.

  • I know for sure I will certainly be spending lesser time replying smses or checking my pte email account when on a job.  But as a SAHM, why is my PC on whole day, and my fingers always busy clicking the mobile phone, and ignoring the needs of the children?
  • I know I will be very passionate about my job and give my best to make sure the job is done properly.  But am I having the same kind of attitude as a SAHM?!!!  Sadly…. NO!!!!
  • Actually, when I’m at my previous job, I love it so much that I look forward to it every single morning, and was always one of the first in office, and one of the last to go home cause I enjoyed doing what I was doing so much.  So why the different now?

Why the double standard?  I am not being hard on myself, but, honestly speaking, I think I have taken my time with my children for granted.

Since reading that article, I started to make some changes. 

  • My reply to sms has been slow, sometimes even 1 week late! (so friends, now you know why)  Replying sms is a vicious cycle, the more I reply, the more sms will come in.
  • My PC is mostly on at night after putting the children to bed.  When it has to be on in the afternoon (like preparing my tuition materials), I will usually not check the emails or forums.
  • I started to bring back the singing and chatting on the bus journey.
  • I consiously remind myself to enjoy every single moments with the children and to pay attention to them when they talk to me.

I am not a supermum, and I still need my break in between.  Even people out there has a lunch break.  Which is why when the children nap in the afternoon, I do take a 10minutes cat nap, have a coffee, read the paper or a book, so that when they are awake from their nap, I am also refreshed and will be able to give them my all.

Most importantly, there got to be a change in a mindset.  I have to see myself as a “Professional STAY-At-Home-Mum”, and not “LAZE-At-Home-Mum”.