Haircut, Butterfly and Swing

Haircut

On and off, Ms Z been saying she wants to cut her hair.  But she will usually change her mind quickly, or rather, I will be the one to convince her to not to cut.  But I guess the heat has convinced her that she needs a hair-cut.

Butterfly

Sandy, our distant relative from UK, bought a Butterfly and Cowboy suits for EZ.  Mr E was only excited over the ‘guns’ and haven’t put it on yet, but Ms Z was just too excited over the butterfly.

Swing

Both EZ finally figured out how to get the swing to swing!

A lesson on socializing

Between my previous post and this, I was with Mr E having our routine bedtime chat when he started talking to me about his time during our playgroup outing with the ABCD gang.

Background

Recently, Mr E been throwing tantrum easily whenever his friends don’t want to do what he wants.  On last week’s Sunday school, he even got into a fight with a friend cause the other boy was so irritated with Mr E’s persistant hassling.  Even though I know it is wrong for anyone to be fighting, but I also recognised that my son is the one who provoked someone else into resorting to physical action.

I have actually been telling Mr E that he needs to give his friends space, and to respect his friend’s decision and will when they don’t want to do what he wants.  Apparently Mr E turns a deaf ear to all the advices, which resulted in the fight during Sunday school.

Back to our chat

Well, Mr E told me that during our journey to our playdate, he reminded himself to respect his friends, give them space and don’t force them into playing the game he wants.

And during playdate, he said he put that into practised, and even gave all the details and example of how by respecting his friends, they ended up doing other things together happily which both of them enjoyed.  There were times when he listened to his friends, and also other times when his friends listened to him.

It brings be so much joy to know that finally, something in his mind clicked!  Finally, he understood what I meant by respecting and giving each other space.  Finally, he found the joy of giving without hurting.

Before we ended the conversation, he asked me excitedly when will be the next time we meet his friends, cause he wanted to put what he learnt into practise.

Well, the next time will be Friday.  Meanwhile, I told him to continue to give the respect to his sister, his parents, and his helper.

Some may persist that if we advice our children to listen to people, we are not training them to be a leader.  I beg to differ such view.  In my opinion, great leaders are those who listen and respect.  How can one gain the respect of others if we don’t give others the respect right?

“God, thank you for showing Mr E the way.

Mr E, I’m very happy that you have found the joy of giving and respecting.”

Be Less Of A Control Freak

I think one of the reasons that is getting on my nerves is the fact that I’m a control freak.  Things has to be done this way, using this, during this time, for this long… Oh well, this is a little exagerating, but I’m someone along this line.  And I think being this way not only stresses me, but also those living with me.

Plus, being a control freak can be detrimental to our walk with God too.  Who is in control? God or me?  This is probably one reason why I have decided that sending E to school is probably good for me too.  Its a time for me to surrender my control over E to God, his heavenly Father.

Apparently, both my hubby and I are control freaks, which is why, in my opinion, we struggled a lot during those times when I was helping him with his business.  Now, at least my control is home, while his is the business, that reduces conflicts.  Kind of wonder which of my children will have this trait.

“Let go…” “Let go…” “Let go…” is something I have to constantly remind myself to do today, and for a long road ahead.

Phew! Today is better…

After the bad day and the talk with the 2 Es yesterday, situation has improved slightly today.

Firstly, the adult E – my domestic helper.  Before going to bed last night, I was totally prepared to receive a resignation letter from her.  She is one with very high pride, and with that talk last night, I really thought she won’t be able to take it and will resign.  On my end, her rudeness is simply getting out of hand, and no matter how good she is, I don’t think I deserve such manners.  Apparently, she didn’t tender resignation.  Ok, good.

Next, my son Mr E.  He is trying to work on his weakness.  I constantly remind him, and he too, put it into practise.

Lastly, me.  How can all fingers be point at others right?  I know I’m at fault too.  I have to be less of a control freak.  I have been thinking of the issue between Mr E and I, and the few things that come to my mind are:

• Mr E is no longer just a baby.  He is growing up, and has a will of his own.  Where moral and safety is concern, I have to continue to set a firm boundary, for other things, I just have to let go, and allow him to learn from his own little mistakes, and give him space to venture out.
• Mr E is afterall, a boy growing up to be a man, while, I am a woman!  Didn’t they say “Man is from Venus, Woman from Mars”?  Probably, some issues we have with each other simply got to do with the fact that, he is a male, and me a female!
• Mr E has his own emotion and feelings – while of course, I have mine too.  We got to respect each other’s emotions and feelings, and give each other space to air it out.  And me, as an adult, has to help him channel his anger in a proper way.  Like what Sam said, just ‘leave him alone’.

In a nutshell:::

It all boils down to “Interpersonal Relationship Under One Roof.”

I have already tried

Today is just a bad day.  There are things that went smoothly, while other things just get me so so so so mad.

Everyone around the house is expecting so much of me, even the maid too.

By default, I am not the soft spoken, nice nice woman.  But I know my weakness, and unashamely, I have been trying to be more like Christ, and is still a work-in-progress.  I have already tried, so why are they still not contented?  I’m not God, and can never be perfect. So why is everyone expecting so much from me, again, even the maid too.

I told off the 2 Es in the house, one E is my son, the other E is my maid.  The young E is a child, and I’m just gonna be more patient.  As for the adult E, if she wants to quit after the lecture, fine, go ahead.  Yes, she is good.  But that doesn’t mean that I deserve that kind of attitude she has been giving me.

Young E’s father too.  Give up talking, and no more comments from me.

Now, in the house, my only comfort and joy is little Z, phew, thank God for your grace to at least let me have this little piece of joy.  Whenever I feel so drained and tired mentally and emotionally, I will just hug her and she seems to have a re-charging effect.

I have tried so hard that I’m now tired.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I just get out of this house for a while?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lion for real

We were on a crowded bus with EZ sitted side-by-side and playing happily while I was standing in front of them.  While I was just looking out, suddenly a loud cry was heard, and that came from my son.

“Mummy, Z bit me!!!” and he went sobbing sobbing sobbing.

Z’s story, and very naively: “Because I was pretending to be a lion and lion bite!”

This is a situation where I want to laugh but have to be ultra-sensitive with the ‘victim’s’ feelings.  On a serious note, it was quite a bad bite.  She bit on E’s back, through the T-shirt, and left a tiny slightly bloody mark.

Anyway, went on to console E, and to ‘reprimand’ Z.  Took a while to explain to her though.  Only manage to get through point to her when I asked her if it is ok that mummy pretend to be a T-rex and eat her up.

Although poor E, but I still smile as I recall what happened.  It is kind of funny

Where does egg comes from?

For homeschool this week with Ms Z, we are focusing on “e”, and “egg” naturally forms part of the lesson.  I was asking her:

Me: Where does egg comes from?

Ms Z: From the fridge!

Me: (Huh!!!) erm, so where does the egg from the fridge comes from?

Ms Z: From the supermarket!

Me: (Again, huh!) Oooo Keiiiiii…. than where does the eggs in the supermarket come from?

Ms Z: (in a naive pre-schooler way) I don’t know….

Sigh… Simply from this, can see that I really neglect my dear girl’s a lot.  I haven’t even told her that egg comes from the hen!!!

Terrible Twos at 6yo?

E is really frustrating me a lot! For weeks, or maybe months?  Whenever he doesn’t gets what he wants, he will end up throwing tantrum like the infamous “Terrible Twos”!  For eg,

We were at the playground, and like I have always been doing, I gave a 5 minutes notice before going home.  And again, today, when I said that, E will end up yelling “so fast?”, with crying next, and he would even go sitting down on the floor with a tantrum!

Basically, anything that is not what he wants will end up with a tantrum!  And the frequency is getting from not too frequent, to nearly everyday! Arrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I blew it today! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!  This is defiance, and deobedience.  Though I threw away all my rods, but balloon sticks found their way to my home. (erm, balloon sticks have always been my ‘rod’, its not as pain as the typical bamboo ones)  I gave the 3 strokes to him!

I have tried other gentle ways I know how and he has been behaving this way for months.  I have not given this young man the rod for a long long time.  And with his behaviour going from bad to worse, what can I do??? 

PS: I know I have readers who are totally against corporate punishment, I just hope that you will keep your own opinion to yourself. I am not one who abuse my child, neither am I one who cane them every other day.  The frequency now is like once every few months.  I constantly look for other ways to handle them, but when it is necessary, I am not ashame to admit that I use it.  So, please respect my space to air my parenting journey.

On the other hand, Ms Z has been really pleasant.  The only problem I have with her is – eating, well, the same old problem. 

Ever since I have 2 children, it has been like this, ie, one give me problem, while the other give me joy.  Now, it is E who gives me problem, but there was a time when Z was the one while E was good.  I wonder what will household with many many children be like!

New Purchases: Dr. Seuss’s and Narnia

2 series of books caught my eyes when we were either at or walked pass the bookshops.  1 for E, and the other for Z.

Dr. Seuss’s Classic Collection

There is a 50% discount for Dr. Seuss’s Classic Collection at MPH Citylink branch (but i have no idea if the same discount is available at their other branches).  I paid $25.41 for 6 hardcovers titles (original $50.83) that includes:

1. Oh, the Places You’ll Go!
2. Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You?
3. Ten Apples Up on Top
4. I can Read with My Eyes Shut!
5. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish
6. I Wish That I had Duck Feet

Not every child likes Dr Seuss.  E only started liking it at around 5yo.  For Z, she is amused by the Dr Seuss’s sense of humor.

In my opinion, this series is suitable for 4 onwards, but it all depends on the child.

The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis

This is gonna be a classic on my bookshelf.  Spot it in a box set form that comes with all the 7 titles under the series.  Including my 10% membership discount, the set of 7 books cost me $57.78.  Definitely much cheaper than having to buy each book individually that cost about $11.41 each.

The 7 titles include:

1. The Magician’s Nephew
2. The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe (made into movie)
3. The Horse and His Boy
4. Prince Caspian (made into movie)
5. The voyage of the Dawn Treader
6. The silver Chair
7. The Last Battle

These are suitable for fluent readers who like mysteries, fantasies and fairy tales.

E learnt to tie shoelaces

E tied this shoelace on his own!

Simple task, no big deal for most children, but, it calls for celebration for E cause of his weaker fine motorskill.  What I’m most proud of is his perseverance to learn.  He kept trying and trying and didn’t give up till he got it.

Call me ‘kiasu’, I taught him to tie his shoelace is part of preparation for his primary school next year where only shoes with traditional shoelaces are allowed, no velcroed shoes.

“E, mummy is really amazed by your perseverance.  Keep this up, and perseverance alone can bring you very far in everything you do in life.”